by Atul Gawande
Rating: 4/5 282 pages, 2014
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Nov 29, 2020
Being Mortal
Medicine and What Matters in the End
Traditionally, people used to live with their grown children or extended families when they grew old and became incapacitated. Now it's far more common (at least here) for the elderly to live in nursing homes or assisted living units. There's also the option of in-home hospice care, but I think what few would really want is where many end up in their final moments- holding on until the very end suffering from unpleasant procedures or unconscious, tethered in a hospital bed. This very thoughtful and sobering book looks at all those scenarios, describing the history of how nursing homes and assisted living became a thing, looking at how they've changed over the years, and examining whether those options really are in the best interest of the elderly people they serve. The doctor (I must read more by him!) also looks carefully at what people actually want as the end of their lives draws near- what's most important to them, and how can it be achieved. It's not always seeking every last treatment that has the smallest chance of a positive outcome. It's usually the simple things that begin to matter most- being close to family and friends, maintaining some autonomy, feeling like their lives have had worth . . . There are a lot of poignant examples from people Dr. Gawande has known- his own acquaintances, patients, friends, and finally, in a very personal and moving account, his own father. It's difficult to read at times and makes you think about the hard things that nobody really wants to discuss, but points out how important those discussions are before they become crucial. I'm very glad I read this.
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I read and reviewed this one a few years ago, myself. It was especially pertinent to me because or our personal situation of caring for our fathers who were both in their nineties. I did find that the author was a little bit pessimistic about the way modern doctors are being trained to handled elderly-care, but our own later experiences with both men (who have now both died) gave me a little hope for the future.
ReplyDeleteIf you are curious, my review is here: https://bookchase.blogspot.com/2015/05/being-mortal.html
Thanks, I liked reading your review. The doctors' views didn't come across to me as pessimistic? Maybe I missed something there, or maybe the author had too many personal experiences coloring his attitude negatively.
DeleteBoy, doesn't this feel extra-relevant right now? I was just discussing end of life preferences with my parents because of like -- everything!, and luckily we're pretty good at having those convos as a family. But it's still so hard to think about; you get really superstitious!
ReplyDeleteYes. It made me think a lot on what my own parents might prefer. I haven't had that kind of conversation with them yet, though . . .
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